New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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