did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
