Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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