Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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