32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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