Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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