she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like a drive thru vagina
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
