she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
