So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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