Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
