you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
