return my video game
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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