So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
