I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
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He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
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No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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