i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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