Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
