I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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