Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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