i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
