I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just high enough for therapy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
