I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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