it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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