He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
