I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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