oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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