strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I supernannyed him into submission
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
