actually, I'm a sock model
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He better not be in your backpack
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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