So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
