is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
