i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night