Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?

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  (614): I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place? http://tfl.nu/g0k2
  Replies (21) Good night (703) Bad night (1894)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"

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  (971): So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully" http://tfl.nu/lw3x
  Replies (12) Good night (10821) Bad night (1070)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  his penis was the training wheels of my sex life

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  (610): his penis was the training wheels of my sex life http://tfl.nu/y4t8
  Replies (16) Good night (4786) Bad night (1359)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.

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  (620): I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process. http://tfl.nu/qg86
  Replies (10) Good night (4832) Bad night (912)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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  (253): Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand http://tfl.nu/sefe
  Replies (6) Good night (1465) Bad night (1365)
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  (949): View more from California

  I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?

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  (949): I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right? http://tfl.nu/15sn
  Replies (11) Good night (1967) Bad night (869)
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  (585): View more from New York

  There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn

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  (585): There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn http://tfl.nu/f3ez
  Replies (6) Good night (1262) Bad night (550)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?

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  (902): I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat? http://tfl.nu/t6q6
  Replies (5) Good night (982) Bad night (429)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.

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  (+44): When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god. http://tfl.nu/0ncl
  Replies (0) Good night (581) Bad night (937)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.

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  (252): i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass. http://tfl.nu/8dgj
  Replies (1) Good night (450) Bad night (898)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...

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  (603): So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment... http://tfl.nu/nl0n
  Replies (2) Good night (747) Bad night (504)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..

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  (404): He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing.. http://tfl.nu/8ij4
  Replies (10) Good night (493) Bad night (1275)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.

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  (920): Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass. http://tfl.nu/fgjj
  Replies (0) Good night (637) Bad night (490)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants

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  (256): I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants http://tfl.nu/j7tx
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (314)
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  (909): View more from California

  If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?

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  (909): If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that? http://tfl.nu/o5in
  Replies (4) Good night (436) Bad night (197)

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