my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
