bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.