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• (021): View more from

  Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?

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• (631): View more from New York

  lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon

  (1-631): View more from New York

  wow.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere

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• (979): View more from Texas

  Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He does that

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"

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• (315): View more from New York

  He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.

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• (254): View more from Texas

  The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's

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