Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period

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(315): View more from New York

she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

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(573): View more from Missouri

I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.

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(281): View more from Texas

he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."

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17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Read it at the TFLN blog
(503): View more from Oregon

Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class

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(203): View more from Connecticut

He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way

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(925): View more from California

…wtf were in those pills mom gave me

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police

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