no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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