5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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