dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
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He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
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Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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