We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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