I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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