carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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