i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
