why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
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