what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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