This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
