I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
