If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
