What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
