I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
