you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
