Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
