I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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