Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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