i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
