She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
