I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
