Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize