so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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