marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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