Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
