the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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