I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
